Giving up Your Dreams for Your Child when they are Diagnosed with Autism

It's one of the hardest things you'll ever hear. "Your son (or daughter) has Autism." In a flash you think of all the dreams you had for him growing up, playing baseball with his friends, going to college and succeeding in life. The doctor has just told you that your child may never talk, communicate or act like a normal child and in that moment it feels like all your dreams have been crashed against a wall and you've just lost your child.

I thought of those things when the doctor told me my son was autistic. I wanted to cry but then as we walked away from the doctor's office I looked down at my son and his small hand in mine. He was the same little boy that I knew yesterday. I loved him just as much.

I never gave up on those dreams but I had to push them aside and concentrate on the present. Focusing on those dreams too much at the time was too painful and wouldn't help very much anyway. I never wanted to lose those dreams for him and at the back of everything we did they were always there. There was always hope.

My son just applied for college and he is one of the very few in my family to do so. He has already achieved so much in his lifetime and his future is very bright. He's not perfect and he has his own issues but are any of us perfect and without issues?

In retrospect from everything we've been through I would say it's important not to give up your dreams for your child. If you have to, just push them aside for a while, focus on the present and don't focus on your dreams as much. Love them as you normally would. It's not the end of the world, there is so much more help and hope today then there was even ten years ago.

Our dreams for our children change as they grow anyway and at some point we will have to let them realize their own dreams and not ours.

Here's a nice video on Autism and Aspirations